So I talked to my mom yesterday. It didn't suck. She said she had something to tell me. I didn't expect her to say what she said. She basically validated my asperger's syndrome. My psychologist said sometimes when you get diagnosed late a lot of people have trouble accepting it or believing it, especially family. When I first found out about it I felt like I finally found a large piece of myself. Things made sense. But at the same time, I've grown up around people my whole life. Always having to appear normal and interact. And once in a while I will think "maybe I don't have it.. maybe I am just weird.." But when she said she has been hearing about it more and how she sees that I clearly had it I have no doubts. I don't see it as a bad thing like lots of people do. I've been confused and angry for most of my life and getting an answer even an answer labeled "disability" is a breath of fresh air. I think it was a good talk. I think for the first time, I am understanding her perspective. And I don't agree with everything she's done, and some times I do think she was just being mean to be mean... but mostly I realize she is a person to and she has her own issues. She has ADD. And she's been on anti depressants. I would call her cold but I notice in myself that when I am on medication I am not as affectionate with people. And just who I am. It takes A LOT to be intimate with people. And I am definitely not the nurturing type. Maybe I got that from her. I'm trying to understand where people are coming from. Especially with the Asperger's. I'm trying to figure out why people take things I say certain ways or try not to take what people say the wrong way. I tried saying stuff during the conversation but it was hard. I didn't know what to say. We haven't really talked in 2 years and things cant just fix over night.. but i am open. I felt like she was listening for once. That's all I wanted. Its hard to hear how lazy I am or how I am not trying for years. Its nice to know that she finally gets that I was trying. The assignments were overwhelming. The teachers were mean. The students were different. I couldn't sit still. I had no concept of time and still don't. I am late to everything because of it. I don't try to be. I get up early to get somewhere but end up late.