i went to school. i was late but he didnt mind. it was only orientation for my online class. I went to wlamart. the big one. i think i stole poptarts and whipped cream. i didnt mean to. i just. i thought i bought them and then i didnt see them in my bags. so i went back and told them and they gave them to me free. but then walking back to the car... i realized.. maybe i set them aside while i scanned the other things. its really 50-50.. but i really think i stole from walmart. its been taunting me all day. anyways when i came home I went to myspace out of bordum and i read a post of one of my friends. they said they were looking for tv commercial auditions... and it was really disappointing. im happy for her or whatever. but i just am so disappointed in myself. i have all these goals and ambitions and wishes but i havent done anything to get them or there or whatever. so i started looking too. buti dunno. i dont seem to have the look for anythiing. im either too short or to brown or too.. not sexy enough or something. its dumb. maybe i shouldnt waste my time obsessing over it so much anymore and just figure out something else. which i kinda have.. but yeah. poo=how i feel. but anyways, while looking for monolougues i found one from the village. i hated that movie but i like this scene:) Ivy Walker: Why are you on this porch? There are other porches. Do you find me too much of a tomboy? I do long to do boy things, like the game the boys play at the stump. They stand with their back to the woods and see how long they can wait without getting scared. It's so exciting. I understand you hold the record. It will never be beaten, they say. How is it you are brave when the rest of us shake in our boots? I saw you at the window. And no, I won’t tell you your color. Stop asking! When we are married, will you dance with me? I find dancing very agreeable. Why can you not say what is in your head? Lucius Hunt: Why can you not stop saying what is in yours? Why must you lead, when I want to lead? If I want to dance I will ask you to dance. If I want to speak I will open my mouth and speak. Everyone is forever plaguing me to speak further. Why? What good is it to tell you you are in my every thought from the time I wake? What good can come from my saying that I sometimes cannot think clearly or do my work properly? What gain can rise of my telling you the only time I feel fear as others do is when I think of you in harm? That is why I am on this porch, Ivy Walker. I fear for your safety before all others. And yes, I will dance with you on our wedding night. brb