sooo i woke up at 1:20pm :)
sleep is good
I was going to go to the bank and get money so i could go grocery shopping. cuz my bank is open on saturdays now. but i left too late and i didnt make it. so i basically went all the way for nothing. i wish my atm card would get here already. it would be so much more convenient.
its almost tuesday. heather wants me to go to this womens bible study thing. i would really love to go. i would and im not lying.. however, im sooo glad i didnt go last week cuz theres some things about it that are just too awkward for me. or would be. Firstly, the location. they meet at New Wine CHristian Center... my old old church. The reason thats so weird is because of the past events. and the reasons for leaving. And the people that i might see there... which is my next reason #2.. karen. Karen is the mother of jay. and jay was my childhood molestor. and i dunno. heather was talking about the meeting and saying how much she learned and how good it was and then she actually asked if i remember karen *insert last name here*" hello? do i remember her? no.. i just forgot all about her and her stupid son and what he did altogether.. imean it was 7 years ago... who thats alot. but NO! i did not "forget" its very much alive in my head and always will be. how do you forget those kinds of things? and its just weirder still that heather of all people would ask such an obvious question. when she was very involved in the whole situation. i mean she went to that church and was friends with the same people and my mom. and she knows what happened. i just cant believe she asked that. and when i said "yes" that i remember karen... she continued to speak of her like she had no idea it would upset me. talking about her and chris (jays brother) like i would actually wanna know. and u know what? i didnt care.. but it did make me curious. not about how karen and chris were or what they were doing but.. where the heck jay is and what he's doing. why? i dont have the slightest clue. i wish he would disappear from my head altogether.
anyways. so thats that. and im alone and bored in this apartment.. im gonna read. i'll be back later.er.
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