So uhm... how many hints can a person drop? I am not going to like post signs all over the walls in our apartments.. and I am going to start my period any day now so it basically doesn't matter.. but does 3 day weekend mean anything to anyone but me?? like seriously? I don't know how he does it... really.. maybe I am just an ugly ducking :[ or i have cooties. or he hates me me. no. no he loves cuddling with me. and that is it... BLAH! must be true what they say then.. huh... funny how ironic that is considering.... we waited. in line today. we bought one of those big popcorn tins. i say "big" just because they are bigger than a little bag of popcorn... but in comparison to what i remember as "big popcorn tin".. there is no comparison. Timmy says he thinks that its because i was small so they seemed bigger.. and now i am big so they seem small.. but i dunno. i don't buy it. i think they shrunk... at least a little bit. we also got gingerbread house stuff and gingerbread cookie ingredients. i like Christmas things. I have been feeling bad about myself lately.. because I've been cussing more the last few months than the last few years combined.. which really isn't much because I never cussed like at all.. that's why its kinda weird.. but i can't help it sometimes. just damns and ass and an occasional bullshit because lets face it.. what word replaces bullshit? and bastard and whore and douche bag. but i don't say the f word and such.. except in like a sit diary where i basically let myself say anything. but then i was playing Halo with Timmy and these 2 people we met. one was a girl and she was really cool and stuff.. funny and whatknot. but she cussed like crazy and.. it was really unattractive. and trashy. and I'm nowhere near that.. not even close but i dunno. made me feel a little better but a little worse.. like ew what if i turn into that? and thank God I don't sound like that... omg Choli is driving me crazy right now. she is running all over and keeps climbing up my legs and it hurts because we didn't trim her back claws just her front. BAHHH! crazy psycho kitten! and great.. she made peace with the bell ball. perfect time.. 5:30am.. she loved that thing one second and the next she just decided she was deathly afraid of it and even the sight of it freaked her out.. and after days.. she's playing with it again. in the hall. with the tile floors.. its loud and obnoxious. wow. its crazy how people change. that's why i don't trust anyone anymore. you can think great things about someone. but after a while.. sometimes its nothing but just thoughts. sometimes the person was never like your thoughts in the first place. they just had everyone fooled. I've had that happen a few times with people now... in and out of my family. its crazy how someone who takes pride in being "real" was the biggest fake all along. its a little sad but ultimately.. amusing considering the person and what a bitch they were to me. for NO reason at all. not just basically crying out for help but desperately asking for it several times.. and then when they DO get a bit of advice they FREAK out and bash you for it.. issues much? and now all the things i said are taking a toll.. and the things i never thought would happen to this person are.. and MORE.. so much more than i thought.. because she is fake and she can't get help because she doesn't want it. thank God I'm not a stubborn little brat.. as much as my mother would love to tell you other wise.. no. no its this person. the one we all thought was smart.. is actually pretty freaking dumb. weird. too bad when they realize it.. the only people she kept around to "help" her.. can't. they can't even help themselves. oh karma, you bitch. ok is this not more than a little wrong.. think of the creepiest thing (besides president) a stalker can become.. DING! DING! DING!... that's right! A private investigator! am i right?? like EW. Tim says that the only reason he chose that career path is because he gets off on secrecy and being "wrong".. doing bad things.. having to hide and lie.. and that's what he does... all day or at least when he can. getting off.. to the creepiest life.. ever. gross. Timmy is so right.. I never thought about it like that until he said it. Timmy is always pointing out the obvious.. I always overlook it. That's why we're together i guess. well actually considering the first part of this entry.. i guess he isn't ALWAYS too great at stating the obvious.. urg. but i love him. he's good at seeing when I am being oblivious.. and not so great when he is.. but i am.. so its a nice balance. most of the time.. as the song spun, so did the room.