well, things were kinda bad for a while. not baaaaaaaaad but, not perfect. not like i expect perfect. but yeah. i talked to tim and things are better. or gonna be. or something like that. i feel better after talking about it alittle. before we talked tho, we spent the day takng pictures. we drove on the 126 and stopped at some orange groves and then we saw a sign for a lake and decided to stop there cuz it might be cool. and when we were driving, we discovered the cOOLest town ever. it was like a hidden town and it was all old looking. and they had a lake type thing with cool brigdes... we have pictures. so they are coming soon. along with beach pictures. i started my new job today. i dunno, its kinda gonna be similar to my other job as in the whole how much time im there and pay. but the work will gradually turn into graphic design stuff. right now i answer the phone alot. cuz theres lots of phone calls. i was so tired. i work at 8 in the morning. bleh. timmy took my to olive garden. he got me flowers too. he said he was looking for sunflowers (my fave flower) but he couldnt find any. so he got these other flowers that look like mini sunflowers. theyre cool. i like them cuz one is pink. woot. _____________________________________________ theme: mission impossible oi. like sleepinG! i cant sleep! ah. its 3 am and i have to be up at 7 and at work at 8.. what the heck??? im stupid. I cant go to sleep unless im exhausted. iim really tired but not exhausted. its so hard to fall asleep without timmy holding me. i mean every night for 3 months, you get used to that kind of thing. sleeping just isnt the same. timmy is fine without me, he has a heating blanket and it makes him late for work. haha. oi. no but grrr, why's it gotta be so hard for me? sometimes i think it was stupid to move back here. Yesterday my mom and me were arguing like always and she said to make other arangments necuase this isnt going to work out. she says that every fight we have. im so sick of her threats, cuz, they arent even threats. its like, say it again mom. say it one more time, and thats what will happen. and then she'll be all mad abot it like last time. no, thats not an option anymore but. i just dont know what she wants from me. i try really hard, and its never enough. shes impossible. in other categories of impossible.. i was cleaning my room. and i found a picture of me and jay from a long time ago. i must have been 12 or something. maybe not even. i look the same so its hard to tell. i couldnt stop looking at it tho. is that weird?? i think im weird. i dunno why, not like i wanted to look at it. i would like to throw it away, but i couldnt do that. well, i did. but then i dug it back out and put it back where i found it. why do my bones hurt so much? im not on my period. and even if i was... its never this kind of pain. can u get back pains and stuff from stress? never heard of that. i got stomach aches from stress before but not like muscle aches. hmm. i took a 800 mg ibuprofen. but they dont really do anything. i feel like i can barely hold myself up im so weak and achy. urg. i have alot of hw left. it never seems liek alot until like 4 days before a test. and i still have to take sample tests. i mean the stuff is pretty easy but its so hard to concentrate and do so much. and i wanna put pictures on here but i cant find the time to resize them and stuff so that might take a while.. maybe in a few days. or maybe i'll have to wait till after my math test. thats on the 1st. and now i have to peee. soo i will pee and attempt to sleep again. maybe i should stay up all night.