i hate not writting in here. I try to come back at least once every couple months at least. but theres so much going on and so little since its all the same thing over and over and over. just cut and paste.

things have been crazy. I just want to get my shit together once and for all. I want a place to live where i feel stable and secure at all times. I want a job. I want to feel READY to move again.

And its not just easy as... "Jeni, you need to start putting yourself first" and making decisions that put me first.. because Im only here for Max. If we werent together I would be in california or europe. So I try to make plans for us.. and then something bad happens and it gets put on hold. and then i get scared to make more plans for us.

I got arrested at the end of september. I had an autistic episode. there's more to it but thats basically it. it was summer so