I am really loving this new book. Aspergirls. Its a simple read and it has a section aimed at girls with aspergers and at parents. its really affirming when it tells parents to be or not be certain ways that i felt i needed. same with friendships. that chapter came at the perfect time. i wish my eyes were stronger.. i never want to stop reading it but my eyes get dizzy and tired. and reading makes me sleepy even if i read sitting up. grr.

I didn't think i would like it because i had heard about Rudy Simone a while ago and i don't remember much but there was so much criticism surrounding her and how she "doesn't really have aspergers".. i remember commenting on her youtube channel telling her to ignore the comments because they are stupid. i also remember emailing her for help with employment when i was first diagnosed. she was really expensive tho. I hadn't thought much of her since until now... I was scared i would have the same thoughts as other people and not like her or think she didn't have aspergers... but i don't see how people could say that. After reading her book, she not onlyobviously does, she does a perfect job of explaining things through the eyes of an aspergirl. i didn't like the word aspergirl at first.. thought it sounded kind of corny. ish. but its nice not having to write out "girls with aspergers" all the time. I am not finished yet with the book but its been a great read so far. Not only as an aspergirl or someone with AS but it would be good for young NT girls too. And of course parents of an aspergirl. I've read a few things about women with aspergers before and its hard because i feel i dont relate to NT's.. i don't relate to aspie males.. and just when i thought i had found my niche and i would relate with aspergirls as a whole... i didn't feel i did. but in this book one of the girls says that. she says

"What really makes me uncomfortable is when Aspie campaigners couch that "leave us alone" argument in the myth that all AS people are super intelligent mathematician science savants and some sort of master race. That makes me feel, as an Aspie who doesn't have any of that, I'm a double fail -- I fail at being normal and also fail at being AS." (Polly)

I really relate to this. i am good at some things but i am not a genuis in anything like a lot of AS people are. for the first time i am starting to relate to people. I also related to something Rudy said herself in the friendship chapter:

"When I attend a dinner party it is a short matter of time before all conversation starts to sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown (wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah). No matter how nice or intelligent everyone is, I just want to go home, put on my tutu and roller blade. I simply have great difficulty finiding people who are open and youthful, yet mature and experienced in a way I relate to. " - Simone

I see a patern forming as I learn more about Aspergers. I fell inlove with John Elder Robson when I read his book "look me in the eyes". And with Temple from the movie Temple Grandin with Claire Daines and read "thinking in pictures". I fell in love with Tony Attwood. And now I've fallen in love with Rudy Simone. My newest hero and inspiration. And even more so than with John or Temple because I relate more to her experiences and I see so much of myself in her. And I want to cry when she writes about her family. Because I know how it is to have a dysfunctional family. And that doesn't get you or make an effort to learn about AS. Just in this little book, I'm learning not to tolerate being treated bad just because you fear being lonely. Quality not quantity. Having no friends is better than having bad friends or posionous people in your life. Having AS doesn't make you retarded or less of a person. It doesn't make your opinions less important. And it doesn't make your feelings (although sometimes extreme) any less real, appropriate or rational for the situation. Its expressing ourselves that is the issue. Its finding genuinely nice people who aren't going to take advantage of our inability to articulate our emotions with spoken words. I hope someday I find at least a few friends/soul mates that are fun and interesting and someone i can relate to. But I'm content if the only best friend i have is timmy.

actions speak louder than words. words are meaningless in most cases and from most mouths.