Listening to: avril lavigne- freak out
Feeling: ugly
today..
today was a great day.. what am i talking about... today suck butt face... but! then i saw sean and that's when the greatness of the day happened.. and therefore cancels out the badness and made for a uber grrrrrrrreat day.
I went to church and yeah, that was weird. brett was there and you know i knew he was coming cuz i read it somewhere on myspace a couple days ago so i pretty much almost expected him to be there. i asked my mom if i should call him or something cuz i havent talked to him in a long time and he used to say that whatever happened he'd still wanna be my friend. we'll that's pretty much a lie. and i miss being able to like talk to him without all the drama. and if he is gonna here for good.. going to church and showing up to all churchlike events and such.. we kinda have to be able to be around each other or its always gonna be awkward. and so my mom told me to talk to him if he came to church. so i went over and i was thinking "woot! sal is over there too so it will make it less awkward." but its sal that ended up making it awkward. they were talking about brett living with luke and such. and i said that i wanted to be part of the conversation and sal was like "why does it matter?" and it was gay.. it didnt have to be like that. it didnt have to be awkward. i just wanted to be able to have a conversation with brett without the nonsense.. and it was just gay.
we went to olive garden and that was just great.. brett came. ended up sitting next to my brother.... when im under alot of stress i get these crazy stomach aches. so i didnt really eat my lunch.. and i felt like throwing up the whole time. yeah it was great. i guess i coulda left that out.. but wheres the fun in that?
i went home and took a huge nap. it was nice. my brother tried to figure out what was wrong with my back and he gave me some "super" motrin. sal was supposed to come over and watch that one movie with jim carey but i guess brett being in town causes him to forget that he's somewhat my friend. and i become unimportant. or something lame. he coulda called and canceled at least.
so then sean was online. he was supposed to go to warped tour and hand out flyers but it was over so he picked me up around 10 and took me to his dad's house in granada hills. and i met his dad and step mom and yeah.. that was interesting. not as bad as i thought it'd be but still intimidating. his dad was a cop. eek. his step mom was really sweet tho. and his dad has cool socks.. hmmm.. we ate ice cream and cherries and watched a fish called wanda. and cuddled and talked and such. and yeah, wow. im so excited and scared. i keep saying that but i dont really know how else to describe this. he's wow.. incredible. he said that he feels like he likes me way more than he thinks he should right now. cuz its so fast... and i was thinking the same thing.. its been just a few weeks and i feel so close to him already. in a few weeks. its crazy. and i really, really dont want it to end.
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