so basically. been planning and still. nothing is accomplished. BUT! alas. there is hope... I have a job again :) I was feeling REALLY crappy about not having a job and planning a wedding and even not planning a wedding.. because last month tim paid all the rent and utilities himself cuz i didnt have any money. So Im glad I can contribute now. Its much needed especially with all the upcoming expenses. So yeah Lisa called me earlier tonight and said she needed someone for the school year again. she didnt think she would since she's moving in with her bf and his 2 kids. i guess maybe she thought theyd do daycare or something idk but its a good thing they dont cuz I reeally could not find a job at all. It sucked. and i like working for lisa because i can do hw and watch the kids at the same time. and yeah so its good. woot. i think they start school on the 21st so next week. woot. I am really behind on planning. I can even think right. I cant concentrate on anything long enough to get it done. my brain is fried and really.. its just the beginning. im freaking outt that iwont be able to pull it all off. i dont have the location yet becuase my mom hasnt gotten back to me about it. for days. and i dont have days. and flowers? i dont even like flowers and i have to figure out what is perfect for my wedding... bleh? and cakes? I love cake but i dont want to get fat but i dunno if timmy is decisive enough to choose the cakes. speaking of timmy... i dont think his mom has sent the pics yet. i relly hope this doesnt become an issue. and i dontthink he has even asked his cousins lenny and ryan to be his groomsmen.. i mean. after talking abouot not having dave as one of his bestmen, we decided to have manuel and donovan and it was only a day after deciding that, that i called up donovan and asked him and of course he said yes. and manuel too. but it was a day later. and its been months that he's known about lenny and ryan. bah. i just want to get things done and thats a really simple thing to doo i think. i mean i even asked christi if i could use rebecca as a "back up ring bearer" in case tim's little cousin couldnt do it, and im pretty sure he wont because tim hasnt even asked his parents. im so stressed out. stressy McStresserson.. I dont even have a dress yet. I want to have it custom made but its becoming a nightmare. and stupid cruz's bridal lies! long story. anyways. tomorrow im going to make appointments to go cake testing with timmy and maybe manuel on sunday after church. my mom said ruth could do my hair and make up cuz she does that. but. idk. she said she'll give us a good discount but i dont think its a deal. i have been searching for that kind of stuff and generally its $50 for make up application and $50 for hair and they both come with a preview day before the wedding. but she told my mom she charges $200 normally and she would only charge us $100 and $75 for bridesmaids. psh. $100? for makeup? i dont even know if it includes hair but if it does then, thats not a deal.. its the same. and if it doesnt... omg. what a rip off. $75 for bridesmaids. theyre 15! well im done i guess.