I was putting a yellow shirt on a lime green hanger and THUS began my new obsession for *drum rolll* the yellow and lime combination. its sexual. I'm feeling a lot better. better than earlier. Me and the mother had a fight. I dont know what happened. Im on my period so that explains my bitchyness. but whats he excuse? i was pretty messed up about it. i mean. i feel like i should have known better. i feel angry at her for saying we could work thru it and blah and saying "its not going to work" after our first fight. and im angry at myself for thinking it would be different or tolerable or something. im angry that i moved most of my crap and now.. i dont even know what to do. I feel stupid because i wish i wasnt so dependent on everyone. but anyway. things calmed down. and im here. with timmy. but. idk. im so messed up. i dont know what to do about anything. gah ok im not done. back to the mother... i mean she says that i was nice until i moved in and then i was mean. what? i dont know how she can say that. i have been trying so hard. I picked up manuel for her when she asked and went and got her groceries. offered to make jason dinner. and was pleasant and polite when she introduced me to her jr high girls group even tho i didnt want to because she was being a jerk earlier. and ive only been there 2 days.. and i wasnt even around her much inbetween for her to even say that. unless she counts coming in my room early in the morning to wake me up. even tim said i was trying really hard to make it work. and she hs been doing the opposite. its like she read my sitdiary and knew i said that about hre and turned it around on me before i could say anything. and today. right when i switched from collected to pissed.. she smiled. SHE SMILED. it was so evil. pure evil. a twinkle in her eye like "yes. Ive won." I dont know how to live with her. i try. and she says im not trying. i try harder and she tries harder to make it impossible to even want to try at all. the beep is the culprit. the phone in her room beeps every 5 seconds! and its loud! it annoys the heck out of me when i just walk in and out from the bathroom. passing in the hall. its just beep beep beep! and its crazy. i think it is literally driving her crazy. maybe if i disconnect it.. she'll snap out of it and be normal. who knows. but shes in her room all night. she even falls asleep to beep. all night. how? she's either a robot and this is some sort of sickk government parental experiment.. or she's insane......... i decided today. and im not just saying. im completely serious. i dont think i want kids anymore. not only is it just an excuse to try and fix all ur own youthful mistakes thru them.. you end up screwing them up in the process and you all go crazy. killing is a crime. so should driving someone towards thoughts of suicide or mental unsoundness. being the reason should definately be a crime on some level. or form of abuse. u should have to have a permit to have children. u need a permit to go freaking fishing but popping out kids every five seconds and turning them into psychos is just typical. plus like the girl in across the universe says.. its pure narcissism. i just dont want it. i dont want kids. maybe i'll get a dog someday. an ugly dog. no kids. nope. (besides.. it messes up ur girly part. and who wants that? not me thank you very much.) i talked to alisha on the phone for a while today. i know she's young but she's a smartie. ive said it before but its true. i think i used to be at least somewhat smart, altho ive always been naive.. i dont know what happened. i also talked to manuel. hmm. theres really no point to this.. just for sake of remembering. hehe. over the hedge is hilarious. nothing really else to say. timmy wanted me to do the thing stewie says to brian about the novel he's working on to jason. only replace novel with shower. lol cuz jasons been taking soo long to redo it. "so jason. how's that shower u've been working on? u know.. the one uve been working on for 3 years now??.." lol i had the chance today too. it would have been great. he was cleaning the bthroom and we were somewhat talking for a second and i could have done it but i forgot. gr. i think he would have found it quite hilarious. i think i pulled a butt or hammy muscle. it hurts :( Imma stretch it or something. suckies. ok. well. night cruel world. and nto that it matters to anyone cuz people are jerky mc jerkersons.. but.. i think its really rude to ask for something andd not sy thank u even tho the person who did it didnt even have to. gosh. really. how hard is it to say thank u. boo. psh im soo bored. and i look kinda decent right now and no cammy to capture a rare occasion such as this. gabadeegook. yeah its a word. chocolate? yes please. hmm. i kinda wish i received more comments. lame but. maybe i'd feel my life was a little more.. uhm. relavant? mooby. ____________________________________________ ok i swear after this im done.. just bored.. so OLD PICTURE TIME! uhm... Michael J aint got nothin on me... I'm... bringing sexy back.. hi. old old old more old. heh Imma princess :] blue. bang. bang. limey. ok ok goodnight.