Listening to: Reborn- Rebecca St. James
Feeling: sullen
that's it k... I'm a changed person from now on. And i know saying that is a dangerous thing.. cuz I am setting myself up for temptations by the enemy.. but I dont care. I'm not giving in to anything. Im done with it all. I just want to be who i was before all this. I am going to the new members meeting on thursday. I am graduating high school. I am going to get baptized again. and I'm not going to let my past taunt me. I mean I didnt have sex or tons of bf's or anything. Just stupid decisions. So, no more boyfriend's. No more putting myself into stupid situations. no more distractions. i know this is what God has been asking of me all along.
SOOO...
I need girl friends. yeah. So I'm gonna. starting with talya. I'm making it my goal to become best friends with her. and maybe kim B. that's good for now. I just really hate becoming close with people. especially girls for some reason. I dunno.
...in other news...
brett went home. i think. heck i dont even know. he doesnt have sal's cell anymore so if he didnt.. i dunno. hope he isnt in trouble or anything.
I am getting my senior pic's today. PDK and Adrianne are doing them digitally and PDK is gonna edit them. All for free as my graduation present. And that's really awesome cuz they are awesome at what they do. I haven't really seen alot of adrianne's work but I've seen PDK's. Oh yeah.. Adriane took the pic of me looking to the side.. it was used on the flyer for my suprise party last year. i like that picture too. so yeah. It's cool cuz, I was praying that my senior pics would turn out good (cuz I am having an ance problem right now) and now Im not worried about it cuz they will do a good job and PDK can edit anything i dont like out. woot.
Some kid on myspace said he would give me a bike cuz he is gonna thrash it when he gets his new one... hmm. im skeptical but hey.. its a bike. I'll take anything at this point. He says its a Haro and its 3 years old. Haro's are good bikes so who knows. Might be another answer to prayer.
All these little prayers being answered are great and everything. and well... i guess the one i wanted answered all along has already been answered. I prayed that if I'm not supposed to be with someone, that they would be removed from my like (heh, i also prayed that they would leave willingly and i wouldnt have to be the one to do it.. like always) and that if i am supposed to be with someone, that they would find and pursue me and that I'd know who it is when that happens. and brett is gone and andres is kinda not here and really doesnt wanna be. and i guess its better that way. Everyone needs to get over all the crap. I dont know how long that will take.
me and brett went to the mall a couple times last week taking pictures for my photo class... and guess what? i saw erik. ahhhhh! it was weird. he works at the carousel again. weird. he looks the same. a dorky brad pitt. jerk. i hate when jerks look great. it bugs the crap out of me. why cant jerks look like crap so it isnt hard to point out the nice guys... but i guess everyone would look like crap in that scenerio. bleh. He saw me and was walking behind me looking at me. I dunno, it made me feel good. Cuz he just stopped calling me out of nowhereness for no good reason at all and it was nice to show him that it didnt phase me at all and i am doing fine without him. even tho it was forever ago that we liked eachother. i hope i made him feel as pooey as he made me feel. but then again i kinda dont. thats not really nice. but shoot man, he really sucked. anyways, just thought it was nice, i got some "closure" from the whole thing. cuz i wasnt able to before.
i like this song.
crap i gotta go wash out this dye. bye bye.
?
i mean once is enough to be saved right
?
i dont know
i reject church remenber
well mabe one day ill conform
but not yet
hope ur happy with the new you
and best of luck
-shoe