im starving. idk what to eat. maybe the rest of my straberries. i really want strawberry oatmeal but all the pots are in the dishwasher. i guess i could do it the microwave way. meh.

my aunt is weird. well. she is my moms sister. so . i shouldn't have expected different. she never responded to my message. well she did 2 weeks after saying she hadn't forgot and that she was tired from work and would reply when she had the chance, which was more than my mom would ever do, so i cut her some slack. i told her i understand and that was 2 weeks ago. so its been a month now. people are so annoying. if you don't care just SAY you don't care. at least that's honest. and to say they care is stupid. if you care about something, you make it a priorty. and after a month she cant say one thing? i dont get this family. its probably because she knows everything i said was right and she's been trying to think of how she could say i am not... but after a month you'd think she'd just give up and just say i am right and she's sorry or she doesn't care. something. uhg.

but anywho... this cough is driving me nuts. i couldn't sleep the night before babysitting elijah so i was so tired. even tho i was tired that night, my cough kept waking me up. i went to bed when timmy did at like 12 and i was so tired. but this time i drank a bunch of hot tea with lemon and honey. it helped and i fell asleep pretty fast woot :)

who knew wheat germ was in the cereal isle... makes sense now that i really think about it.

did you know you have to clean out your dishwasher filter every month? you probably did... i didn't. it was gross.

i need a job or a hobby or something. i have nothing to talk about.

our anniversary is in less than 3 weeks. 3 years! thats crazy. its weird that its been 3 years and no baby when all these other couples we know are popping out baby after baby. i thought i would have a baby by 24 and 3 by 30. i has none. and i actually cant really imagine having any at the moment. i think getting my diet straight and aromatheraphy (once i actually start that) and exercising first... its hard taking care of yourself. especially when u have aspergers. hmph. but once i get that down, i think it'll be better. one thing at a time. although unconventional and not the way my mother or how "christians" would do it.. i am kind of glad me and tim lived together first. i wouldn't recommend it to everyone, or anyone really.. but for people like me who can only handle one thing at a time then i think its ok. moving in is a big step. and so is getting married. and having sex. and being a wife. and that all would have been too much at once for me. its stressful for everyone, but they handle it. next is me. and then babies. i hope i get things under control fast because i reeeally want a baby. so bad. i am dying to start our own family. i know we probably wont get 3 kids by 30 now... that might be pretty intense... but maybe 2. and 3 by 35? i hate setting goals. they never happen. its almost like they would if i never set them but setting them actually makes them not happen. its outrageous. but its weird to think i once wanted to be married by 21 and a baby by 22. chase doesn't like his friend jakes gf laura.. and one thing he was complaining about was how she is weird because they just started dating and she was saying how she wants kids in a year. and how she wants to wait to have sex till she's married. so she thinks next year her and jake will be married with kids... and they just started dating. i wonder if thats how i sounded... cuz it sounds kinda stupid. nah i wasn't that bad. if i had a baby at 22, i'd have a 21/2 year old right now.. weird.

i wanna do something for our anniversary. like go somewhere for the weekend or something. i was looking around but i didn't really see anything. i don't know where to go. i need a haircut. maybe timmy will have one of his 3 day weekend things and tuesday off.. so if he takes off monday he gets a 5 day weekend. that'd be cool