I'm hungry.

Today is boring. Might talk tim into going to the movies or taking a walk. I feel clastorphobic in here today. I wanna start horse back riding... might look into that today. I guess i could call central casting. maybe i can go fix my hair cut since i kind of ruined it. meh.

i don't see the point of keeping casey on fb. I'd like to think we could work it out but i just don't think we mesh well as people. he needs to get off his high horse first. at this point even if he did say sorry... it wouldn't really matter... we've been in a similar situation before and stopped talking and he can never just admit he is wrong or something... he always justifies his meanness or rudeness or thoughtlessness. I can be careless and thoughtless and all sorts of things but when people point it out, or say i hurt their feelings... i say sorry like a normal person. Sometimes i feel more normal than other people. like people with AS should be considered normal and NT people should be considered odd or different. Even when he has said sorry the few times, its not real. its "sorry you felt i did that" or "sorry u assumed this or that". its always sorry YOU made it into something it wasn't. When that isn't the case. I know no one is perfect. I know all people have flaws and that all people can be selfish. but there is a difference between having selfish moments and being a selfish person. timmy says i don't mesh well with selfish people. and that's great and all but i usually don't know they are selfish until after I've become attached to them. its not fair. people need signs. "i am selfish and inconsiderate and i will probably take advantage of you". take take take thats all people do. They only give when given to. and sometimes not even then. why can't people just be nice to be nice? And why can't people be more appreciative of niceness? I should just delete him. He doesn't even care.. so why should I? And if it is an act... then even more of a reason. I'm so sick of the games. Why can't i just find a friend that is as open as i am? Who isn't so passive aggressive? Who doesn't have to play mind games to have the upper hand. A friendship shouldn't be about the upper hand. it should be fun. dude. I'm so right. I should write a book.screw feeling bad about eliminating negative people that only want to take advantage of me. And I dunno about other girls but I don't respond well to a man screaming at me. Screw that noise.