will this week ever get better?

they said that it wasn't FIP based on the fluid sample and the blood work. but there really is not way to be 100% sure because there is no test for just FIP alone. but i thought they ruled it out completely. apparently not. they had said they thought it was liver or heart disease and they wanted to do an ultrasound on the abdomen and heart. they said if we didn't want to do that yet we could give him antibiotics for now. but now they think it IS FIP. they said it might be liver or heart disease but because of all the fluid in his stomach they think its FIP. today we went to get the antibiotics anyways. she said if they dont help in a day or 2 then it is most likely FIP.

that alone is hard enough. but no. it gets harder. we made plans a while ago, before all his symptoms to go to san francisco. from saturday to monday. but now idk. if we dont go we just spent $400 on nothing. if we do go and he died or gets worse while we're gone... idk. we cant take him with us. 1 i dont think the hotel allows pets and 2 he is miserable enough without sitting in a car for 8 hours. no way. but we dont have anyone to care for him while were gone. chase and monica said they might be able to stop by once a day. but that really isn't enough. he needs constant monitoring. i dont want him to get worse when someone isn't here. and sometimes dexter and choli just dont get that he is sick and they try to wrestle or play rough with him and we have to keep them away when that happens. but we cant have a pet sitter either because timmy said its too last notice. and also she would only stop by at most twice a day too. so. idk. idk what to do. and if we do get someone to stay here or come by a lot, i'm going to be worried the whole time we're gone. how can we have any fun knowing our little boy might die? uhg i can't even get myself to go to walmart right now because I'm too worried about him.

and if the antibiotics do work.. one of the antibiotics needs to be given twice a day. and if it is liver or heart disease.. how long will he be ok until THAT becomes fatal? in 2 days its gotten so much worse... if we wait till we get back... thats like 5 days.

this is a nightmare. how do people do this with sick children? I love Moose so much i can't imagine going through this with a baby.

one option i was thinking is maybe caling the hotel and asking for them to postpone our stay until like next month or later based on the situation. but in my experience, people are heartless and don't give a fuck.

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i hate my life. moose is getting worse. tim is being a jerk. money is going down the drain. i want out.