what the heck? every second i am around her is complete nonsense... i want to slit my throat. I threw a chair at my door.. now i have a hole in my door. im a moron. throwing things. not good. its becomeing a thing. note to self: stop the thing. She didnt like that me and tim were out every night until 1 in the am. she said it was ok. she gave me that cerfew. she offered it. I asked like a joke.. i didnt even expect her to say yes and she did. and then she complained about it. why say i can if your just gonna be a jerk about it?? and then she wanted us to hang out at my house but every time we were going to something came up... kinda. i just didnt want to mostly because whenever im here its insane nonsense. and im embarrassed bring tim over cuz my mom makes me crazy and then i act dumb. but we finally decided to hang out here tonight and she was so gay. we did what she wanted and tim left and i went to go to bed and she's like "i want to talk to you" and her stupid "big issue" was how tim didnt come in a say hi to her.. ???? what the heck is that.. so she got mad at me. first of all.. who wants to say hi to someone so psycho? and second how is he supposed to know that? he cant read minds.. i didnt even know. and also, getting mad at me for it? what did i do? this is what i get for doing what she wants.. a big fat load of crap. i hate her. i di nothing wrong. and i get crap. and shes taking away the dsl and she already said i cant go out anymore this week and i cant take my car anywhere but work and school... what the hell is going on? shes psycho. and then she said that if i cant appreciate anything then i should start paying rent. and i said fine, then u cant control me anymore. and she was saying all this stuff.. like she was gonna make me pay rent AND control me. what do i get from that? nothing.. its just giving her her way again and she says I am the selfish one. I am the controlling one.. with what??? what do i control? nothing. shes so messed up. i would hate to be her because i wouldnt never want someone to hate me as much as i hate her. i hate her so much and i cant do anything about it. not to her at least. everything was fine. why does she have to make the worst ending to a pretty decent night? i would give up everything and everyone to get away. i know how awful that would be but not as awful as being trapped here. im so stupid. i need therapy. i cant afford it. i cant even afford therapy. thats pretty messed up.