sometimes i would think.. why am i even on prozac? do i even really need it? now i know the answer. obviously i dont think people should become dependent on perscription drugs. or any drugs. and i dont intend to take anti depressants forever or even a long time. but right now, the answers to those questions are clear. the past month has been a nightmare. not so much on the surface. I'm sure Tim sees the difference because he is my husband but anyone else would think things are fine, normal, or even better. I do that a lot when things are bad... I act like they are 10 times as good. But yeah, the past month has been horrible. I can barely have conversations without wanting to kill the person i am talking to or myself by the end of it. i want to cry all the time. i have the urge to scream for no reason. i feel useless, helpless, hopeless.. any other less you could think of. i am forgetful and absent minded, always feeling like i am forgetting something. I'm irritable and on edge. Tomorrow is my doctors appointment finally. 1 month without insurance sucked. I seem to always have something wrong with me. hopefully he can suggest a better medication, and reffer me to a therapist or something so i can finally deal with whatever it is making me feel this way, and stop taking anti depressants.

But for right now. I feel like crap. And I am exhausted. And, I don't even know if it will help because I never really tried it before.. but it seems to do it in the movies.. I'm gonna go drink until I pass out. wish me luck.