What is with the weird dreams lately?
so last night i had a dream that i was with timmy in this room. and a friend of ours was there. not a friend in real life.. a dream friend. but his face was kinda fuzzy the whole time. he kinda looked familiar. but not reaally. he had brown hair but most people in my dreams have brown hair. he had kinda a ryan atwood build. anyways... i was talking to timmy and then...!! there was an earthquake! and something fell on timmy and gashed his tummy parts and he was dying and bleeding and i was holding him and the friend came over and we were holding him and then! i needed to wrap timmys stomach with something but we didnt have anything. and the friend guy, we'll call him uhm.. i dunno "mr. x" so mr. x tears off his shirt and sweater. not takes them off no no.. tears them off. and wraps timmys stomach and then were huddled together (cuz its cold) and holding timmy and right in front of timmy, "mr. x" just starts kissing me. just like its no big deal and im like whoa!.. and yeah. it was very strange. but then it gets stranger...
so the "room" were in.. is now a store. a clothing store. and there are clothes racks, the round kind, all around us. and then! (this is the confusing part) my dream like pauses or seomthing and changes to a different dream. or not different dream, cuz the same people were in it.. but different like point in time) and its in a like mini mart at a gas station or something. im with people from a class or something.. and im standing next to jenae... which is weird. i think its cuz i sent her a myspace message.and jenae says "oh theres ur bf" and i turn and think im gonna see timmy but noo.. i see "mr. x" and dream me and mrx are all huggy and then he leaves. and then! im looking for chips and another guy walks in and jenae runs over to him and i can hear her say "jeni is here" to the guy.. who i think is mr. x again. but its not. and he walks over to me and taps my shoulder and i turn around its jay! of all people. and then the sickest thing happens! i kiss him too. not just mr. x... no no.. him and jay. or maybe they were the same person? im not really sure. but it was just weird. and we started talking and ew. it was weird. and then it went back to my other dream. or whatever. and timmy is dying and me and not mr. x... but now shirtless jay are in the clothing store.. and then all of a sudden we arnt in a clothing store anymore.. but outside my old old church on the grass and its snowing ereally hard andits reallylate at night. and the cops are driving by so i dunno why byt we hide tim in one of the clothing racks and then we jump into this wooden well? i think it was a well. it was square tho. and it had doors. but it was really deep. i dunno. then tim called so i didnt find out what happened next but it was weird.
i dontreally know the point of typing that al out. but i have nothing else to do and im not tired. so yeah.
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I'm weird.
i had that dream last night. soo noow. i dunno if its fear of dreaming of jay again.. or if im just not tired or what.. my eyes kinda hurt but i cant sleep. its really late, early.. boo. im so dumb tho. i dunno whats going on in my head. and i dunno why. but. for some reason i want to ffind him. just to see where he's at . not locatly. but in life. i dunno why. i guess maybe to compare? my life to his and see if he ruined one or 2 lives. or maybe im just crazy. but i spent the last 30-45 minutes searching for him on myspace.. cuz everyone has a myspace. but apparently he isnt everyone. last time i saw him, i think it was either on fourth of july 3 years ago, or at a bus stop. and he drove by in his brothers yellow truck. u know maybe i want to see him because i have this image of him burned in my mind and im just sick of it. i want to get rid of him althogether but its nothappening but maybe changing the image will help. if that makes sense. i never make sense anymore.
in other news.... my hair looks awful. i need a freaking haircut..!
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