Listening to: rilo kiley- a better son/daughter
UUUUUUUUUUUUUHAAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAG!
that was the sound of fun being SUCKED out of my weekend :[
and replaced with *dun dun dun* awkwardness... what gives??
timmy's first 3 day weekend in like a month. so long we have been planning to go away when it finally did happen. and all week we've been talking about it. and then today tim's like "wait we cant go. isnt that baby shower thing on saturday?" and I'm like... "oh cwwwaaap...". I've been reminding him about it but forgetting to remind myself almost. G's. I don't even want to gooooooo. booooooo. i hate baby showers. i went to like 2 and they are lame and gay and boring and lame. and i know thats mostly because they are filled with old women who dont have lives.. and i know this one wont be that bad in terms of a typical baby shower.. thats really not even it. i just really wanted to get away.. I've been dying for this.. :[ and and now its gone. I dont even know half the people there. and the ones i do know are like those awkwards acquaintances you have nothing to talk about with or jerks i dont want to talk to. and crowds in general pretty much make me want to punch myself in the face but a crowd of awkward is.. just.. unnecessary? i'm happy for sal and stephnie i really am. and i'm getting them a gift and its exciting and all but uhggg. do they even qualify as friends? i mean we never talk. we never hang out. but i guess bea and ryan are the same way. i just want to be married already. i feel like an idiot. being engaged for over a year and a half and here are all these teenagers married and pregnant and everyone is okay with it. and when i wanted that for me everyone would tell me to wait and say i needed to finish school and get a career and blah blah blah and tim is already there. finished with school and at a great job and Im on the path just havent gotten to the destination and some of these kids arent even trying. well i actually have no clue but kinda.. and its depressing. and i swear if mike chooses to propose to his gf at the shower.. lol how lame would that be?.. but seriously.. i think itd be kinda rude to sal and stephnie. but more importantly.. just lame. and im like 99.9% sure thats how it'll turn out. kids. i give them 2 months being married before squeezing out a tator tot of their own. everyone there is married and turning into baby makers. and that is like what determines if your life is "together" with these people.. they all kind of follow each other and mimic one another.. its like its all for show. and i know tim doesnt want to go. i told him about it and he was basically like "have fun at that" kinda thing... and then i told him it was co-ed. he wasn't too thrilled but he is a gentleman so he's going with me. Im thinking I'll put the present on the porch with a note and like ding dong ditch.. "happy baby time.. had to run. far far away." :{ no amount of writing is going to give me a good enough excuse not to go.......... Ahhhg.
i guess going an hour and leaving is fine. tim said we can just go away another weekend. i suggested we try doing both and leave thursday night and be back sat before. he said that might work so.. hopefully. i was just thinking the beach if we did that but he said maybe we could still do vegas:} i dont care where.. i just need out of this stupid apartment.
oh so great news.. nightmares are back woohoo. :[ might have even come back sooner than i even knew of. i guess i was like making noise or something in my sleep a few days ago and tim asked if i was ok.. and i was like half asleep and half awake.. so i didnt know i was having a nightmare till i was woken up.. kind weird and then it really freaked me out because nightmares are always scariest when ur half awake and u see whats going on but u cant get yourself to wake up. u kinda have to get jerked out of it. anyways since then i can remember the nightmares. wont go into detail about it or anything because theyre actually quite disturbing.. but hopefully they go away faster this time.
i love the hills... what?
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