so engagement USUALLY means "start planning a flipping wedding"... well tim must be from planet.. well just another one. where i have no idea what the heck engagement means. I have been planning little by little.. no. not even planning... just guestimating the cost of things. which is nothing. but way more than he does. and i brought up how much it would be for a honeymoon.. and he said that his friend (from thialand) knows places we could stay and that a trip there would only cost $3,500 for a month. and i was like.. wait so he would go too? and he's like, yeah but we dont have to hang out with him.. and im like.. the guy would be going with us to tialand.. thats not really ahoneymoon situation. and he's like "honeymoon?, i just meant like for fun" pshh. of course he isnt even thinking of honeymoons... especially ours.. even after i brought it up. and i said "just a random vacation? im not going to go on a vacation that expensive with u until after we've had a honeymoon." and he was like "what? that doesnt make sense." well he doesnt make sense.. he can spend spend spend but one word about weddings and all of a sudden his pockets are empty. hypocritical jerk. especially after this insureance thing he has to pay for a car accident 3 years ago that just popped up out of nowhere.. ud think he would.. i dunno. not want to spend on crazy things and start wanting to save for a wedding. but of course.. as always thats the last thing on his list. i dont even know why he gave me a freaking ring. io dont feeeel engaged. I dont know a date. he hasnt told his father's side of the family. he.. we arent planning anything at all. all things engaged people just do. but no.. nothing. just same old routine. engaged. u know some of the synonyms of engaged??? fixed. focused. preoccupied. immersed. captivated. timmy is avoidant. i just know he's going to change his mind and make it longer than he said.. ive been telling people "someime in 2007" just because i have no clue and thats vague enough to please timmy and narrowed just as much as i can tolerate. but i know even that will be a lie. cuz timmy is going to change his mind once again. not now.. no no. he'll act fine now. and say he wants it. but 3 months from now.. 6 months.. "oh its not the time.. maybe next year" or something like that... well let just hope i dont fall out of love with him before he finally decides he wants to be with me forever and mean it.