of course someone died. it always takes someone dying for her to want to.. idk.. for her to think.. maybe i should fix things with jeni. screw that. someone dying has nothing to do with us. and the fact that her and jason have both used that as... its just sick... "its things like this that make people think about family". THE stupidest statement. i feel sorry for them. because its true.. for them, it does take such events for them to not be normal people but want to.. but no matter how much they want to... its just a wish.. they will always be the way they are. selfish and arrogant and manipulative and just plain evil and stupid. She also mentioned in the email that she "loved" me and "missed" me. ? uhm. thanks? lol. seriously what am i supposed to do with that? its the same question i asked when i received her "gift" of a jacket (way too big for me) and a scrap book of me and tim... she wasn't returning my phone calls for over a month... but she had time to make a scrap book? i can just picture her... sitting around putting the pictures together.. making what she thinks is clever sayings and then the phone rings.. she see's its me.. and doesn't answer? that doesn't make ANY sense! and she has the audacity to go around telling people that i am "harassing" her... by calling her.. my mother! when SHE needs to talk, you don't hear the end of it. for as long as i remember she has always said that we have to "talk things out" but she only meant when SHE has to talk. as soon as i need to.. she suddenly doesn't have the time.. she suddenly doesn't want to. she suddenly thinks every situation "isn't the appropriate time". well guess what? i don't give a shit that she misses me or loves me.. if she did she wouldn't have single handedly ruined my wedding. she wouldn't have turned my whole family against me. she wouldn't have made me into a monster. she was the one who always felt entitled. entitled to walk me down the isle. and if she couldn't, then i wouldn't walk down at all! and i didn't! she thinks i don't see what happened. she is the one who used vulgar language in conversations with me.. and at the first conversation i finally caved in and said the f word... she used that against me! she told my grandma that i said "fuck you" to her. but she had said a lot worse to me in previous conversations. of course my grandma is blind to anything i say for some reason. well not for some reason... because of my mom. no one takes me seriously in that family. its an unhealthy place. and as much as it hurts to know i don't have a family family... i would rather be in a healthy relationship and start my own family than be a part of that mess. she is a monster. she is selfish.and the worst part is... she just doesn't get it. and never will. i am over talking to her. i hope she likes the silent treatment as much as i did. and the next time there's something important to say, like my grandpa is in the hospital (because apparently he was in the hospital recently but of course no one tells me.. have to hear it at the end of a stupid email), she can have someone else tell me. because i never want to talk to her again.