well. im confused. I was gonna go to my grandmas until they go to missouri to "pick up" erycka. BUT. she's already here. yeah. its weird. so. i guess the whole thing is pointless now. i just dont know what to do. with anything in my life. like school. and work. and love. church. family. and a place to live. im afraid to fail... so i dont try. im a zombie. and im afraid to stay like this. but i guess i'd rather be like this voluntarily than bby defualt. I dont even know what im doing right now. i think i might see a movie with my mom, jason and erycka. and then i was thinking of staying at my moms until friday. and then going to my grandmas and then i dunno cuz it would be pointless to go with them to missouri now. so i dont think i will. i dunno even know what the point of going up to tehachapi is anymore. uhg. my mom has been especially nice lately. but it reminds me off last time. and then i moved back home and she turned especially evil. i wouldnt mind moving back home if she stayed especially nice. but that never happens. and im so tired of moving. but maybe it would be for the best. cuz. me and timmy are more than fine right now. but. lately. and not to make it sound worse than it is. but i've had some doubts. about the future. and im scared im going to force myself or worse.. himself... into something that shouldnt have been. i mean 2 times now that ive even mentioned kids... he's said that he isnt even sure than he wants kids. but he is trying to be what i want. and i see it. i dont even really know what my point is. i just miss church. i miss friends.. i couldnt even say hi to talya at the mall. i wish we could go to church together. but i guess it would be weird. I went to the movies with jason last thursday. we watched cars. it was funny. and then we hung out and i fixed his myspace. and took pictures of jefrie and his bunnies. it wasnt weird being there. i actually slept good. no stress. I made mashed potatoes.first time. well second if u count the tme me and tim tried to make em without a masher. not kosher. I like music. baaaa ba ba ba duh baAAA. Im getting a brazilian wax in september. in san diego. eek. I've never had one before. or any sort of professonal waxing. im scared. but excited. i think it will be nice.. and an interesting experience. Im hungry. i lost that photobucket contest. well. one of 5. but whats the point now? they suck at judgiing pictures. why bother...??? me and timmy went to shooters yesterday. i beat him once or twice. but overall he beat me. but i got better than before. so thats good. next time... he's going down.