Ahhhi wrote stuff and then i erased something and i decided i wanted it back and somehow i erased everything. gah. it wasnt that importance anyways i gguess. i havent really talked to timmy all day today. last night we got into a thing. and blah. i dunno.. im not mad or upset. im not even sad. i just am really confused on why he is acting this way. all i wanted to know is if he told his dad about being engaged yet. and when he said no. i just asked why. and not in a bad why, i just wanted to know. and he got all mad at me. i dont get it. i knew my family wouldnt be thrilled but i said it anyways... it was hard for me.. but its just something u do when u get engaged. its just common sense or something. i dont know what he expects.. an apology? the other night we had a conversation about something tha happened a long time ago and i felt awful cuz i kept it from him and he said that he doesnt ever want me to feel like i cant talk to him again. and that he's going to try to tell me things more. like about what he's feeling and stuff. which sounds so.. i dunno girly.. but its neccessary sometimes. especially from people like timmy who find their emotions so well. but anyways.. i was just trying to talk to him. i thought he wanted that. now i just feel stupid for attempting it in the first place. but i dont think i should have to apologize for trying to have a conversation. timmy really needs to learn the difference between conversation and confrontation. Ah. anyways... enough of that. i start that babysitting job tomorrow. i met the boys yesterday. their cool kids so im sure it will be fine. i wasnt supposed to start till january. but the babysitter they have now has to leave early, which was good for me.. but now its great. cuz i kinda of need it now. since i just quit best buy. i called in because i cant go in today i have to do an essay and im just sick of them scheduling me for closing anyways. i asked for mornings and i put iton my availability sheet. and they just ignore it. and they barely give me hours anyways. but yeah, justin was being such a dick. and i dunno if it was the fact that im so preoccupied with the silence between me and timmy or justins attitude alone.. but i just lost it. i mean i hate best buy but i was planning on sticking it out. maybe i wouldnt have quit if i was in a better mood. then again maybe not.. i mean justin (my supervisor) was being a HUGE dick. anyways... i have to finish this stupid essay for my final.. due on wednesday and im not even done with the freaking book. uhg. and im hungry... anddddd things. why is life so freaking hard?