well.. I've been doing nothing for the past week. not even playing drums. it hurts my head. grr. i finally got registering all over and done with but.. i HATE HATE HATE my classes. i didnt get anything i wanted. i might get keyboarding and thats only one and its just a stupid elective anyways so it doesnt even matter. i signed up for physical fitness lab but i really dont even want that stupid class. i was gonna take yoga this semester and soccer next semester but i dunno.. maybe soccer this semester? maybe. i dont feel like it.. gah. im so picky. but i had it all planned out and perfect and it all got ruined and stupid. i hate coc and i hate you. heh jk. i dont hate anyone. bleh. I dont even want to go to stupid coc anymore.. i want to go to missouri. not really.. well i would if you didnt have to live there for 6 months first. thats a dumb rule. i've been reading this book called "every young womans battle" I'm a slow reader so im only on like chapter 4 or 5 but.. you know.. its pretty ok so far. But heh, girls are wack. wiggidy wack? no.. just regular type. sean is on his way back from washington as we speak. he called earlier... yeah. yeah. oi. Im going to go work out or something. i feel fat. and then.. i dont know. i dont feel good. well.. in more ways than one. what is wrong with me? i feel like crying.. all day. maybe its the vicodin. yeah. or maybe i miss sean alot more than i think i do. maybe my legs fell off and im going thru withdrawals. maybe. im so dumb. I need a freaking job. I need a freaking car... i wish i was at least tall.. so i could try and model. or maybe really short so i could get money from the government.. or if there wasnt a war going on i could just join the army.. always something. i was reading peoples myspaces today (yeah i was bored) and like.. everyone EVERYONE! wants to do something like act or graphic design crap or film.. and its like.. ok.. cool.. except that its not cool. in fact it sucks hardcore. maybe i think about the question "what the heck am i going to do with my life" waaaaaay too much.. its driving me crazy. maybe its just this week.. being in bed all day. doing nothing cuz i cant. i feel soooo unaccomplished. i need to do something. anything. oi. o yeah.. i was gonna go. k bye. ____________________________________________ hmmm that was.. interesting. james, don, and jake have been spending the nite at my house for the past few days cuz my momis the leader of the ATEAM and theres a conference in hollywood this week and yeah.. so i was just downstairs talking to jake and james about whatever. lots of stuff. and then about the comedians at the conference. and then jake was saying he'd be the perfect husband and then i think they forgot i was a girl or something but they started talking about their penises and jake kept saying that he has the smallest penis ever and lol yeah nvm it was just funny. and finally donovan was like "dude you guys, shes a lady" i love my donovan. he called me gorgeous when i came donstairs today:) woot. so yeah. i gots new friends on myspace. Its amazing how many people i didnt know i knew on that stupid site. I was the first person to tell sal happy birthday woot for me.. yeah im pretty cool like that. ouch. im sucking on a starburst. i had to wait till my apple jacks got soggy till i could eat them... grr. i want real food. and my breath smells of something foul. i brush my teeth but it hurts sometimes and i try but it still smells bad.. ew. lol i forgot i get to see sean tomorrrow. he's not gonna wanna be around me. well he wont say anything probably. but he'll be thinking "EW! her breath smells like death" and i will be sad like this :(