timmy says that "he needs me" more lately. Its strange how much words change when your married. Before, i tried to guard myself from words. because I've been told before "i need you" and other things by people, guys, idiots.. and it didn't mean anything. just words to say to get what they wanted. and then they don't need me anymore. but i know he means it. its an amazing feeling, being able to let my guard down and finally let all his words sink in. and not be afraid. because i know he means it, timmy doesn't say things he doesn't mean. its taken him a longer time to get here than i wanted.. but now that he's here.. its more real than anything I thought I wanted.
today has been kind of slow. i woke up late. around 10. i called that man back. he works at a job agency. i've had a negative experience with job agencies in the past so i was reluctant to call back. but I'm going to give it another chance and see what happens. especially because he thinks i could get the seo job he told me about, and wants to work on my resume with me so we'll see. i just hate applying with these companies. the stupid orientation video that is completely pointless and all the freaking paperwork.. but i think the job would be worth it. but who knows how these agents are paid anyways. yes, maybe they are paid for every client they land a job.. which would be ideal. orrr maybe they just get paid for every client they get signed up with the company. and they do the bait and switch.. lure me in with an amazing job, get me to sign up and then tell me some bs about how the job isn't available anymore.. cynicism can save you a lot of wasted time and effort. but i don't have any room for lack of faith right now.. I'll just walk blindly into any rabbit hole i see if it might potentially bring me some money... or a rabbit.. what?
3 days until tim has a 3 day weekend WOOHOO!! beach time and skim boardingness and tans.. and no sun burns. not again.
i'm on my period. woot. i needed a break. from.. not being on my period. heh. o look a boat!
it costs like $340 to change your name! not legally.. like how i want to.. its not even completely different.. like from jennifer to samantha or something.. its jennifer to jenifer.. thats all i want to do. g's. just to make life easier. i actually get confused sometimes when i fill out forms and applications and whatknot. but no. they have to make it all complicated. and expensive. and ridiculous. and when i asked that jerk at the counter.. she looked at me with an i'm so much better than u smirk and said, "that would cost $340".. like i couldn't possibly have that kinda of money. psh. jerk.. and i leaned in and said, if you could just give me whatever i need to make it happen, that'd be great. and she looked all like offended like i offended her. when she was the one giving me the condescending attitude. and as always, these people always leave me with more questions than answered ones. and i feel like i am further away from getting this done than i did when i first started. why are people not informed that this crap takes almost as long as planning a wedding? i would have started months ago. i guess my situation is different but still. so this ridiculous endeavor has been postponed till next monday. they have free legal advice at 8am.
ew. ew. ew. ew.
I've had a myspace for. ever.. and i've gotten some "interesting" messages over the years from some random guys.. but nothing lately. especially since i am married now. and when i did, it was just a hi or something and anything more i would not reply or say thanks but no thanks.. but i just got a message from the creepiest guy i've ever seen on myspace. *shutters* he's like 32 and half naked in his picture and he's like "whats going on beautifuL?" or something like that. i hate when obviously creepy/ugly/gross men hit on unavailable not to mention not interested at all, girls. ew. i have to shower now :[
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