I leave tomorrow morning. My plane leaves at 9:15 am. Max wanted to take me to the airport but the only flight i could get was for morning and he works. So I'm taking the shuttle. He is deopping me off. He was happy to be able to do that much.

He works later on tuesdays so he wont be here for a while. He said they all work late 1 day a week so they can leave early the rest of the week. But he told me he was working on leaving early today.

It was crazy last week. He said he knows a lot happened and he probably doesnt deserve a chance but he is glad I decided to stay. He said from now on things should calm down and not be like that anymore.. he said he wont ever lie to me again. We'll see. I mean i understand... it was hard for me to tell him i was separated too. He told me he wouldnt have let me come before telling me. He said he was going to say it soon because he was struggling with not telling me he loved me. He said he wanted to say i love you but wanted it to be in person and he was getting frustrated.

He said he didnt want me to leave. He's been saying that. Yesterday i said.. well.. what does that mean though? To not leave... to be here? Like.. in this house? He said of course... he wants me to be there with him. So i guess he wants me tk live with him. I mean. He gave me a key. He talks about things "we" need. He says "when you get back". He insisted i get warm clothes. So we went thrift shopping.. he likes thrift shopping as much as i do. And i said something about my clothes maybe not fitting in my suit case. And he said "you can just leave them here". He said to leavemy stuff wherever i want. He gets all "mad" when i do dishes. Not really buthe is always like "hey stop that! I'll do that.. you go relax.. youre a guest" or "youre too pretty to do dishes" or something like that. He's been saying he doesnt want me to leave and that he wants to be with me... he told me he wants to try. That he knows what we have is special. That he wants to grow old with me.. and to be one of those old beautiful couples that still likes each other. We talked and laughed and cuddled for hours last night. The tv on in the background for the first time since i got here.. besides for strangers with candy. From like 7 to 12. He says i make time go by too fast. We didn't have sex last night.. for once. I was dumb and told him i had a tiny cut. Probably too small to see. But it stung a bit.. because well things got a little crazy the night before and I'm not used to it i guess. Or something idk. But i told him and he said we should let me recover a day. Meh. I mean. Its fine but we both wanted to and it was frustrating. Idk what it is. I just find him incredibly sexy sometimes. Most times.. I guess he does too. He has so much self control.. which.. is really nice but at the same time.. sometimes i wish he would just.. idk. Be a bit more aggressive.. not jason and Kilian asshole aggresssive and like ignore the word no but to an extent.. as long as i dont say no we're good. Its nice to be thrown around and pinned down and tied up and not asked .. well. rhats not true. In rhe beginning you have to ask. Especially with me because im so sensitive so.. without knowing what youre doing, it could just suck and hurt. Or just bot be as good as it could be. Buuuutttt ince you fogure it out. Thennn to not ask, just do. Is good. Idk. I actually didnt want to have sex last night anyways. Because im leaving soon and i just wanted to do exactly what we enddd up doing and talk for a while. He enjoyed it. But it was easier said than done. He feels so good.

I just like him.. the way he does things. He's talkative, playful, smart, sarcastic, sexy, funny, fun, dorky, considerate, clean, active, sentimental, etc. He likes a lot of things i like. He is thoughtful and idk what youd call this but the other day there was a football game on. He enjoys football. At least his team. But we were sort of in a funky state. Not a fight but sort of ish. But it was mostly resolved. We ate. His game started so i put in my headphones and did my french app. he didnt seem interested in rhe game at all. Evebtually he asked if i wanted to go for a walk. I said.. the game isnt over. He said he wasnt into it. So we went for a walk. Holding hands. Talking. I told him he could have watched his game. I didnt mind. I wanted him to. He said fooyball was always an ossue with teresa. And it wasnt important. He said he knows what his priorities are. And this is more important to him. Making sure were ok, that is. I liked that. But i told him i could have waited until the game was over, i wasnt angry. I was content sitting by him snd on my app.

I'm tired i need a quick nap