august 2015 I had been backpacking through Europe but I wasn't done traveling. I wanted to either go to china or France. or New Zealand. flights to New Zealand were a little too expensive. I wanted to study abroad in France. and work on an organic farm. sometimes I wonder how life would be now if I had. I probably would have at least been somewhat conversational in French. I could never get the hang of Spanish. I haven't done much in a year. im still in the middle of a divorce that won't stop getting more and more ridiculous. my ex husband can't pay alimony but he can pay his lawyer $900 a month, his girlfriend $500 per paycheck, and put $700 into his 401 k every paycheck. but says he is broke . if. he. only. knew. what. being. ACTUALLY FLAT BROKE. felt. like. He would not throw the words around so flippantly. I've lived in my car. I;ve stated at family and friends. I have had a hard time

I'm exhausted all the time. I am sick of Rob. He is so much more work than max ever was even at Max's worst.

I want a fresh start. I want to meet someone new.

Max says he loves me but he wont take any action or make plans. i guess that is one thing rob could do . kinda of. well. not really but he would call things OURS. i guess im making it better than it is becayse then he would take back what he says by saying mean things that imply nothing is ours and everything is his. so. it sort of cancels each other out.